the confession

you never cared anyway

2010-06-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

YOU.
i hate to talk about this. it's always the same old issue with you. you always think you're right. you never bother to ask me what's wrong, all you do is point at my fault and nag. i don't really care about the nagging anyway, it's your habit. no one can deny that.

another thing, i hate it when you don't give a response to what i'm saying. I JUST HATE THE LOOK YOU HAVE ON YOUR FACE WHEN YOU'RE TURNING AWAY WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU. when i don't respond, it's rude, but if you're doing it it's all okay. is it fair? well, why don't you do the thinking?

you know what, i'll be really grateful if i ever have a chance to spend a moment with you, have a heart-to-heart talk. where you just listen and consider. don't mind all the tears that'll be rolling down my cheeks. just let me finish pouring out what i've been keeping inside. only then you tell me what's right or wrong. i'm just a normal human being. i make mistakes. and of course i do know how to behave and respect others. but i also have my own feelings. have you ever think of taking care of it? you always say, what you always want is a mutual relationship between us. well, from what i see, you're the one not doing the part.

2010-06-09T01:59:00.000-07:00

I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can't apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain
And you can put the blame on me

school holiday is such a bore but i dont wanna go to school either

2010-06-08T21:15:00.000-07:00

what to do during school hols :

eat eat eat :D
watch korean dramas. what else? ^_^
homeworks / study?
pointless addmath project -___-
Big Bang myself everyday. what more can i do? they're korean most swoon-worthy boyband :DD
hang out with my cousins.
work out! chehh. haha. anything for Yoona's bod and legs ;p
learn hangeul.

so there's this boy, he actually asked me to write about him at my blog. i dont really know what to write about him but all i know is his funny attitude makes him someone's fun to be around with. oh and, he was born a day before me. haha.there you go Shawn? happy now? haha :D

love,

2010-06-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

can't wait for it to be mine. hehehe. sabar. just a few days left :)

blah blah blah

2010-06-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

the only Girls Generation song i can relate to.

Echo, echo
(Echo, echo) What kind of man are you?!
You keep thinking that all girls belongs to you! (Echo-oh~, echo-oh~)

I’ve never met a person like you
You make my heart flutter
But all you do is think about the other girls
I can see it all with my eyes.

Thinking that all girls belongs to you.
Assuming that everyone will like you.
The people who are around are oblivious.
Here and there, you sweet words,

Echo, echo, echo, echo
Your voice keeps bothering me like an
Echo, echo, echo in my mind
I tried so hard to block it but it’s like an
Echo, echo, echo, echo
It wasn’t meant for me so why am I acting like an idiot and it’s like an
Echo, echo, echo in my brain
It sounds as if you’re talking to me, now I’m starting to like you!

It’s a crime to be clueless.
No matter how much I shout in my mind,
You can’t hear it because it’s part of the penalty.
But it’s not that easy to give up either.

You start your game once you leave home.
Girls who’re passing by are so fine.
Once they are hooked, you put your moves on
Here and there, your sweet words

If you wish for the best of us then throw your hands up!
(Throw your hands up!)
If you think you can treat me better than he did then throw your hands up!
(Throw your hands up!)

Echo, echo, echo, echo!
Your voice keeps bothering me!
Echo, echo, echo, echo!
Hey you womanizer, try to be nice to me too!
Echo, echo, echo, echo (my love~)
Echo-oh, echo-oh (my love~)

2010-04-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

too much of anything can make you sick.
i guess i wanted you so much and now it hurts to know that
you're looking in another direction,
so after this, let's just pass by each other without looking straight in the eyes,
without saying anything.
pretend like we don't know each other.
i know it will be better off that way.

2010-04-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

i want legs like that. aja aja hwaiting jaz! :D

sakit kepala

2010-04-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

plans for today :
*the one i made the night before

kemas bilik
update blog
update psp
update twitter
tengok true blood
exercise guna gintell's magnetic bike yang baru beli. hehe :D
buat homework? haha.

things i did today :

download k-pop videos
download gambar gambar GDRAGON. haha :D
update blog
pergi rumah orang kahwin -_-
exercise on the new magnetic bike.

hahaha. teruknya perangai. lately ni semangat exercise guna magnetic bike tu. sampai mama pun tanya, 'rajin awak exercise sampai setengah jam'. my answer was simple, 'nak kaki macam girls' generation' hahahahah :DD

hello loner boy :)

2010-03-08T06:31:00.000-08:00

you stole my gaze right away,

you're something i would call attraction at the first sight. i cant stop myself from looking at you. i know it from the first place, you have that something so interesting in you. or else, my gaze wont be locked on you that whole evening :)

my heart is filled with you

2010-02-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

omona,

okay, this is insane. i dont know why i'm super excited everytime i talk about you. i admit most of the times girls expect the first move from guys. but with you, i figured that i should start things first. it's cool with me, i mean, it's not wrong for girls to start a conversation right? but when you responded, it turns my world upside down. in a good way, of course. it's just a simple 'hye' yet, the impact are sooooo huge. i bet you must have heard me screaming just now. ask my friends, yes, i giggled, jumped until my cheeks turned red. the question now is, how am i gonna face you soon? this is so embarassing. but somehow, i kinda wait to bump on you at school. i am fully aware that you have tonnes of admirers and from what i see and what i heard, you never seem to care about your fangirls. i dont know if it's a good sign or not. i am also sure that all of my friends are now tired of hearing stories about you and truth is, i cant stop talking about you because i just cant stop thinking about you :)

*just in case you're wondering, 'omona' is 'oh my god' in korean :D

ajikto norul wonhae :D

2010-02-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

i want you now. the title, i mean.

oh hello, twenty-ten!

is it too late? i dont think so. unbelievably, this is my first post for 2010. and it's already February! how fast time flies. and during one month and 11 days period of time, too much things been happening in my world.

first,
i miss NAN SOFIAH. she wont read this anyway. but still, i miss her. sampai dah taktahu nak describe banyak mana. yeah memang lah ada kawan sekolah semua, but it's not the same. not at all. i wish i can fix this but i never come up with any solution. how i hate being in this situation :'(

second,
my love life sucks. it got me to a point where i dont wanna care about it anymore. the recent guy i spent time with was just foolishly immature, so yeah thanks to him, i dont even have the interest to be in love again. but it's okay. karma wont let him go anyway. sorry lah, but kalau still tak sedar lagi, that why you still dont have a girlf until now. it's not me, it's you. no offense.

third,
i cant believe im saying this, but the fact is, day by day, i AM becoming a loner. yeah i dont need you to tell me how pathetic it is. i knew it already. seriously, sometimes it's fun to be a loner. far from all the people with extremely loud hysterical laugh -which at times tak sedar betapa disturbing nya their laugh are-, far from all the people that care about their appearence. i mean come on, it's just a freakin school. melawati pulak tu. kalau sekolah McKinley High macam dalam Glee tu takpe lah jugak. capital P-F-F-T.

fourth,
i noticed, besides Shey, Tiqi, and Liyy, lately i've been spending a lot, i repeat, A LOT of my insufficient time with Rahman Jamal. yeah, yang budak choir tu lahh. haha. he's cool. okay tak nak puji lebih lebih. but hey at least he listen to all of my problems. though sometimes he doesnt offer a good solution, but thats not what i asked for. being a loyal listener is good enough, Man. and thats what you're doing now. thanks yeah. cant imagine going through a hectic melawati life without you best friend. lima minit pun tak boleh. tak payah bet bet, okay? haha :D

fifth,
okay let's talk about the title of this post now. hehe. i found myself a guy to shout, jump and giggle over whenever he pass by me. i remembered when i used to complain to Rahman and Fitri that there is no new guy to 'usha' anymore. but now dah jumpa. and he's kinda new to melawati what. hee :DD and to top things off, we have that common interest. i never thought that i could find a guy that can talk to me about the same thing we both go crazy for. except Rahman and Mubyn, of course. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Opparul saranghae. hehehe. takpasal je. okay Jaz, cut the crap. yeah, i know that i said before that i am not interested to be in love. memang takde chance pun dengan this guy anyway. so yeah, why bother? :l

sixth,
being a form five = endless homeworks, exams, tuition classes, extra classes and seminars and the most beloved SPM. for the love of Big Bang and G Dragon, homework sumpah banyak gila. and i AM NOT EXAGGERATING. can you believe that? like hello teachers, we're juggling 10 subjects here. t-e-n okay. gahh. tak kesah lah nak bagi homework, tapi jangan lah banyak sangat. aigoo. i am not complaining. just want to have a short, short, short break from all school-related things. really looking forward for the upcoming holiday. bila fikir balik, 24 hours does sounds a lot. tapi TAK CUKUP LAH :O i think i'm doing my homework even in my sleep. haha. okay itu tak lah. tipu je. hee.

seventh,
i dont think i'll be updating my blog in this short period of time. though i really wanted to. same goes with my facebook. online pun dah jarang, update lagi lah. heh. and youtube. oh youtube, i am trying my level best no to visit you frequently. so addictive lah. aigoo. especially bila the search column is filled with letters B-i-g-B-a-n-g. haha. memang dah tak boleh lepaskan mouse dah. yeah i know, dah critical dah addiction ni. so, to those yang rajin membaca post ni, take care yeah. this is what happens to me when i'm out of words. live a blessed life people :D

irony

2009-12-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

i dont know why but suddenly i'm in the mood to write plus it's been a long time since i post anything serious here so it's gonna be a post straight from the heart. dont bother to read it if you're not interested with what happenned with me and my life.

love love love. once i gave up searching for the God knows who. i simply live by "he's out there, just being with the wrong girls". to me life is absolutely fine without a guy declaring himself as my boyfriend. sometimes i love being single because the idea of borderless flirting excites me.

but hey, when you're all by yourself sometimes you'll feel the hollow spaces between you. you'll feel the urge to find someone to fill those spaces. and i think i've met mine. he's all fine, my type of guy. but realities are not all 'happily ever after' so yeah i guess i just have to deal with the fact that his affection is not only for me.

in fact if you want to be specific, i'm the one who is the meddler. it's everything but easy being the middle one. the one who can only see things but can't touch it. the one who is being neglected along the way. the one that always have to hide behind lies and pretention. yeah i might not know you long enough but i know the feeling we have for each other is mutual. and Heaven knows i don't want this to end but i cant afford the price of pretending anymore.

its irony how when you think you've met your match, the one you've been waiting for and he turns out to be someone else's boyfriend.

2009-11-19T04:18:00.000-08:00

again, just sayin' :)

buzz buzz buzz

2009-11-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

hey guys! i've created a new blog which is called the addiction. well, based on the title only you can already guess what this blog is all about. yup. you're right. it's all about my addiction to K-entertainment. this blog is very very new so everything is under construction and the total posts is only 2. haha. baru buat hari ni lah.

and if ada yang nak follow here's the link ;

http://addictionfed.blogspot.com/

oh yeah i don't really care boy :DD

2009-11-06T02:47:00.000-08:00

****i will totally support if GD really have something going on with Bom. she's really really very pretty :)

GD baby baby babeeey :)

2009-11-04T22:46:00.000-08:00

the content of this entry might not be suitable for those non K-Pop fans :)
my advice ; don't read it if you're not into K-Pop.

dah lama tak update blog ni. well don't blame me. it's all because of the finals. but now i'm free. so don't be annoyed if i post 2 entries each day. haha. have you ever experience this kind of feeling when you have too much idea, too lot to write about, too everything and then all of them suddenly just dissapears? gahh. thats exactly what i'm feeling right now. so, why don't we talk about G-Dragon and know a little bit about him? ;)

Kwon Ji-yong. yup his real name. A member, or actually the leader of Big Bang. BB which consist of GD, Tae Yang, TOP, Dae Sung and the maknae, Seung-Ri is not your typical K-Pop boy band. watch their videos. listen to their songs. yeah they dance but they're different from your typical SuJu and SS501 ;) yeah about GD, i know it's kinda lame for me to actually having this fever of him recently. maybe it's because of his solo album that gained a hell lot of attention all over the globe. his solo album, HEARTBREAKER featured a side of him that cannot be shown in BB. i went over the album. and i like it, very eccentric and futuristic. my favourite track would be Butterfly, Breathe and Gossip Man.

about his single being plagiarized and stuff, i don't really care anyway. no matter how many times i listen to Heartbreaker, it sounds nothing like Flo Rida's Right Round. and the rumours that are going wild in Korea is that there is an underground rapper, Maslo trying hard to diss GD. even his album cover can tell the whole story. so what, you're like the hangeul version of Eminem now huh? and then i wondered, if he's an underground rapper who doesn't need to be exposed to the mainstream, why would he released an album? just to mock people? or just to gain remnants of GD's fame? pfft. no matter what GD, i know you're ready to face all of this :)

and his new appearence, the blonde hair. it suits him very well. i have to say i like it the most out of all his trendy haircuts. it just fits into his 'heartbreaker' theme his album is having. yeah many people might say, 'why GD? he's not cute, at all.' ahah. seriously, i dont give a S*** about it. to me, when those people who don't really know GD say something like that, it's meaningless. they don't even know who the real GD is. they just simply talk. haha. so guys, i'm not trying to promo him or to force you guys to have this fever i'm having, no. it's just that you don't have to necessarily like him but surely you don't have to hate him. just give him a chance, give him his space. he's got a lot to prove and to show the world :)

liarshit

2009-10-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

hari ni bengang sangat punya pasal, balik terus on computer.

i saw everything you did little missy. all those little notes you got on your lap. ingat orang tak nampak ke? okay maybe me and liyana je yang nampak. why oh why semua orang tak nampak all those copying you got there going? i've never been this furious. i hate it when i saw something and i can do nothing about it. sumpah tadi rasa macam nak penampar je muka kau tu. dah lah pegi toilet 18 minutes, to be precise. sabar je lah. dah kena kantoi dengan cikgu tadi pun tak serik lagi ke? eee.

yang makcik lagi sorang tu pun satu. i thought you saw her doing that god-knows-what. alih alih, dia pulak pergi tanya apa jawapan untuk number sekian and sekian. memang best.

hey there little voldy, next time, jangan sibuk tanya what's coming out for exam. because i am 150% sure that you can score. thanks to those little notes you have in your pocket. pfft.

2PM - Again And Again

2009-10-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

again and again and again and again
again and again and again and again

why am i standing like this in front of your house again, am i a fool
getting tricked again and again, and suffering again and again
but why am i at this place again

i think i’ve gone crazy, have i no pride
i come back to you, like the first time around
saying ‘i can’t be like this (like this, like this)’,
i’m being like this again today, no

again and again and again and again
i keep coming back to you. i don’t know why, i don’t know why
again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again. i don’t know why, i don’t know why

why do i seem like such a fool
why did i become like this
i made a firm decision, again and again
why do i keep coming back to you

what kind of medicine are you, that i can’t give it up
even without me knowing, i keep yearning for you, and eventually look for you again
though i know you’re a bad girl, i embrace you and love you again
undoubtedly, clearly, i want to come towards you
knowing all the pains of tomorrow, i can’t turn around, i can’t decide

darn it, why am i like this, why am i lying next to this girl
how many more times do i have to do this for me to come to my senses
someone, tie me down somewhere, quickly, please
she’s a bad girl, i know (i know), but here i go again. oh no

again and again and again and again
i keep coming back to you. i don’t know why, i don’t know why
again and again and again and again

i fall for your words again. i don’t know why, i don’t know why

It's You - Super Junior

2009-10-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

It’s you
It’s you
It’s you
It’s only you
It’s you
It’s you

I don’t need anyone else, it’s only you
When you ask again, it’s only you
Even if you already have another love
I can’t forget you, I can’t turn back around
Oh
The moment my eyes began to burn
The moment my heart was captured by you
I have no regret, I chose you
That’s right, it’s you

Oh whatever anyone anyone says, it doesn’t matter to me
Oh whoever whoever curses me, I’ll only look at you
Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you
(Still Still) Even as time goes by

Oh when you tell me you love me
When you tell me thousands and millions of times
Even when my heart sets on fire, my dry lips wear out
Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you
(Still Still) Even as time goes by

Oh oh only for you

It’s you
I don’t need any words. it’s just you
It’s too late , but for me it’s just you
I know our love is wrong
I can’t give up, I can’t let you go

My lips, cold as can be, are even more blue
I cry out to find to find your warmth
I call, even though I call for you
And there’s no reply, I’ll wait for you

Oh whatever anyone anyone says, it doesn’t matter to me
Oh whoever whoever curses me, I’ll only look at you
Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you
(Still Still) Even as time goes by

Oh oh only for you
For me, it’s you, it’s you
Why don’t you know, why don’t you know?
For me, it’s you, it’s you

Oh whatever anyone anyone says, it doesn’t matter to me
Oh whoever whoever curses me, I’ll only look at you
Even when I’m born again, it’s still only you
(Still Still) Even as time goes by

It’s you

hate u, love u - super junior

2009-10-14T23:39:00.000-07:00

I want to hate you
But seeing you so happy next to another person
Is exhausting, now
Not knowing anything
The day I had to send you off
Something that should've been done a long time ago
Having no feelings about it
I tried to erase you
But it wasn't something I could have
Please stay by my side
Nothing has changed, I'm by myself
I trusted that another love would come along but now
It's hard to even breathe
And becomes a bigger problem like this
My loneliness for you, little by little
Doesn't erase and remains
I want to hate you
But your back form of having forgotten me
I'm tired of protecting you too, now
Day by day,
I didn't like living so weakly
I try to change the way I am right now
But I can't
I tried to erase you
But it wasn't something I could have
Please stay by my side
Nothing has changed, I'm by myself
I trusted that another love would come along but now
It's hard to even breathe
And becomes a bigger problem like this
My loneliness for you, little by little
I tried to let you go without regret
Trusting I'd be able to stand it,
But the love that's still left
Just gets deeper
This weary loneliness
Cannot bear it day to day anymore
Slowly you become despicable
Nothing has changed, I'm by myself
I trusted that another love would come along but now
It's hard to even breathe
And becomes a bigger problem like this
My loneliness for you, little by little

****if only you would understand,

so cute!

2009-10-01T23:49:00.000-07:00

oh em gee. i was hyperventilating when i first saw this video. so effin cute!

and,

mengadanyaa kim hyun joong!

mana duit raya? :)

2009-09-19T08:14:00.001-07:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri everyone!

i just wanted to say i'm sorry for those unreasonable acts i've done before. forgive me for all my mistakes yeah :)

and to my Hayden Panettiere and Kristen Stewart, i'm sorry if i ever hurt your feelings. i love you guys. because, you guys make my day, everyday. birthday kita orang dah nak dekat kan? hee :DD
**you know who you are ;)

things through the eyes of mine :)

2009-09-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

people see things differently. yes they do. kalau tak, tak adalah peribahasa, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. betul tak? so, today i feel like writing how things work in my world.

i think volkswagen type 2 is hot. nakkk. warna kuning. siapa nak belanja? :)
i have 'We Sing We Dance We Steal Things' in my phone and i memorized every words of it.
i don't agree with 'bestfriend is always there for you'. they don't. only soulmate does. bestfriend just give oohhs and ahhs everytime you tell them a story. but soulmate will 'who's a** i'm kicking today?'
i don't live and drool over the past. i just think that they shouldn't be erased completely. no matter how bitter it is.
i'm not a see-through person. so don't go around telling others you really know me.
live by 'boyfriends don't stay' principle. well at least for now.
i picture bathroom as my own recording studio. with the shower as the mic ;)
i love to do something i'm not good at. it's cliche i know. but thats just the way it is.
i speak Bahasa Melayu + English. i don't think its rojak. i mean, its what Malaysians really are. we're not a bunch of stupids who can't find the perfect word in English. we're just, bilingual :)
i used to think about others a lot. but then again, i don't think its a good idea. lemme tell you why. people don't think about you or how you might feel before they do anything. so, we're just returning the favour. hee.

sebenarnya ada banyak lagi. tapi takut boring and malas nak dibaca by others pulak. ada ke orang baca? ahha. tak kisah la kan. :DD

dear Anonymous,

2009-09-10T03:09:00.000-07:00

i like seeing you in the morning. it brightens up my day. why? well, because you're just too invinsible so everytime i get the chance to see you, i go crazy. haha. you look so cute today :) bukan hari ni je. you look cute everytime i see you. hee. and, you've turned me into a stalker, do you know that? but i like it anyway, because you're loaded with surprises. the more i know about you, the more i enthusiastic i become. is that a good thing? well why don't you tell me? ;) although we never talk and our sight barely meet, i'm actually loving the butterflies in my stomach and the sweaty palm i get everytime i see you :D

you'll never know ;)

2009-09-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

i eat more and sing out loud when i'm mad or down.
addicted to almost anything related to korea :)
extremely scared of frogs.
i prefer chinese guys compared to malays ;)
i eat almost everything. haha.
i always wanted to be a chef. as in for a living. guess my dad won't let me.
i desperately wanted to learn hangeul (korean language)
senang nak nangis. but never will in school.
crushed over Lee Min Ho and Lee Seung Gi. so adorable!
i will hide behind anyone near me if lightning strikes.
i used to think i can sing. HAHA.
hard to fall asleep if my bolster is not with me.
last minute person. hehe.
some part of me think i can have my own korean boyfriend. maybe someday :)
listening to korean songs can carve a smile across my face.
have an OCD when it comes to books
takut clowns. they give me goosebumps.

oh i will :)

2009-09-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

will you marry me?
do you want to live together forever
we can sweetly love each other,
have a baby that looks like me, a baby that looks like you,
not be sick forever.. i want to live like that

honestly, i love you more
in a relationship between man and woman
they say it's better like that

i'll love you more
i'll care for you more
when tears fall and it's hard
when it hurts, we'll hurt together
i'll love you forever
i'll protect you forever
i'm thankful that i met someone as great as you
i want to love only you everyday

will you marry me

[rap] everyday, i feel so happy that
for no reason, i look forward to the next day
why why am i trembling so much
no matter how i think of it, you're my number one person
until our black hair turns white as snow
until our lives end
even if you suffer physically, i won't ever make you suffer emotionally

you're the other half of my heart
i'll become the other half of your heart
every moment that you breathe
i'll love you
even as time passes and our wrinkles grow
you and me, we'll be together forever like now

i'll love you more
i'll care for you more
when tears fall and it's hard
when it hurts, we'll hurt together
i'll love you forever
i'll protect you forever
i'm thankful that i met someone as great as you
i want to love only you everyday

you're like a light that brightened up my dark life
a house that welcomes me with the sound of stew boiling
a rain that watered my dry heart
a seed that contains the real fruit of love
a string of fate that the heavens decided
our meeting was destined by the heavens
i wouldn't trade you for the world
in my life, there's only you, forever

i'll love you more
i'll care for you more
when tears fall and it's hard
when it hurts, we'll hurt together
i'll love you forever
i'll protect you forever
i'm thankful that i met someone as great as you
i want to love only you everyday

will you marry me?

***a translation of the song you're listening to now. effin sweet right? :)

2009-09-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

ada rasa tak yang lagu wake up call from hayden panettiere lebih kurang sama dengan lagu stars are blind by paris hilton? ;D

haha. bodoh je. taksuka pun dua dua lagu tu. suara macam ehm. haha.

fairytale lah sangat

2009-09-04T07:56:00.000-07:00

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you.

i think my flip flop hates me. i really do think that way. it keep on slipping off me everytime i'm wearing it. haha.

as always, nothing wonderful ever happened today. oh except for the non stop rain in the morning. i love it. today is friday or also known as physics-skipping-day. so, me and my loyal partner in crime, shahira and liyy went to the library instead. baik kan? i know, ponteng tapi pergi library :) of course, the aircond is the main reason. tadi all of us baca adventures of tintin and then pergi tour america dengan liyy. hahaha. bestbest. then tiba tiba rasa macam apasal la hari ni senyap semacam. then boom it hits me, tiqi tak datang. kalau ada dia sure bising gila. haha.

they say time can heal almost everything. i say why not create a fast-forward remote control? obviously, people don't want to go through all those hard times kan?

went to physics class at titian tadi. masuk class macam biasa. then at my usual seat, ada lah bag someone ni. bila dah tau bag siapa, macam agak panas lah kan. dah la ceroboh class orang. selamba pulak tu sit at my seat. sheesh. annoying nyaaa. pasal dia sorang, semua kena tukar seat. really don't hope to see her face again. well at least not in my class.

sometimes i don't want to go to school. why oh why is that?

malas
i don't want to see your face
oh and your girlfriend face too
rainy weather. baik tidur kat rumah kan? ;)

so itu je lah. oh and, rindu nan ;( padahal baru je jumpa tadi.

2009-08-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

muka excited tapi tangan tak reti pegang chopstick. what? i don't have any chinese trait in my blood
:)

as if i care. i thought you're not worth it 5 months ago :D

2009-08-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

i was supposed to blog this yesterday. but hell yeah semalam was a tiring day! it was a beautiful disaster even from the start. haha. janji pukul 11. so my cousin and i were on our way to lrt. rupa rupanya my two other cousin tu baru bangun. memang my mum tak meleter pulak lah kan. haha. sampai klcc around 11.30. got a text from kak adil saying that dia tersangkut dalam ktm. hmm. so we decided to walk around the ground floor. since KLCC tu takdelah besar mana, kitaorang pegi tawaf pulak floor yang lain. semua kedai kitaorang masuk. aha.

then kak adil and kak nad pun sampai. terus pegi bookfest sebab we have to catch I Love You Beth Cooper at 2.45. Bookfest is like heaven. except that i don't have enough money to spend. not so heaven lah kan? ;D sampai je dekat bookfest, semua pergi cari interest masing masing. kak adil got hooked on malay novels. which i don't really understand why. kak nad always on her quest becoming Gadis Melayu. so, dia sibuk lah cari buku masakan. myra bought a tumbler and not to mention got off our radar sekejap. kak adil cari tapi tak jumpa so kak adil try to call her. and guessed what, her phone is in kak nad's bag. memang best. i bought my once-lost-but-now-i-have-it-back-again korean series, autumn in my heart. jyeah, guessed korea and me are unseparable :) so there my rm30 went. buka wallet tinggal berapa je red coloured note. cukup cukup untuk buka puasa. hah.

so we hit tgv and watch I Love You Beth Cooper. nak cakap awesome tu tadelah. tapi it was extremely funny. first time i did movie-without-popcorn thingy. okaylah jugak. habis movie, semua dah lapar but all of our watches showed 4.11. i was like, whaaat? 3 more hours to go? so all of us pegi lah vincci sebab cik myra nak beli kasut raya. and oh em gee, vincci has turned into a pasar malam. more like pasar kasut. haha. kak nad's mood was spoilt just by looking at the splattered shoes everywhere. well, not lah everywhere, atas rack lah kan. so myra found the right one. and well, bought it. after that we went to romp. eh wait, topshop dulu. and the best part is, we went through all the apparel there and played gossip girl dress guessing game. haha. best betul ;)

then pegi foodcourt to get ready for buka puasa. again, myra tak sabar sangat nak beli makanan. we're like, myra, beli sekarang bukan boleh makan pun tau. haha. and she kept complaining about her ulcer lah bla bla bla. i don't know what got us that day but kitaorang semua memang muka selamba je hari tu. why? because kitaorang habiskan masa dengan menangkap gambar. haha. it started with the mastermind, kak adil who planned to put 'no lisa' caption at all of our photos. lisa is my other cousin. haha, i know what you're thinking. i have 20+ cousin. if you count on my mother's side. only. HAHA. i had spaghetti and sushi for buka. kenyang gila.

lepas tu we head home with a full load stomach, tired legs and of course a smile on our face. the end :)

i want nobody but you :)

2009-08-15T01:59:00.000-07:00

from the bottom of her heart

2009-08-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

this is for a friend yang dah lama tak jumpa ;

AINA INSYIRAH
god knows how much i miss you. i remembered when we use to walk around school, playing kejar kejar like no one else watching and doing all sorts of things best friends do. and now, all i've got is just that memory playing in the back of my mind. i really wish we could go out sometime and tell each other everything we keep to ourselves since we've been apart. lama dah tak jumpa kan? :(

oh and also some scribblings for one of my favourite classmate ;

first heard about you from Jer Rick and then Pn Fazilah clarified everything tadi at school. everyone thought you were admitted because of Influenza A. haha. get well and come back to school soon. miss non-stop chit-chatting and arguing with you,

AIMAN FARHAN :)

i'm up for a game. you?

2009-08-13T01:19:00.000-07:00

If you want to play it like a game
Well, come on, come on, let's play
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for one whole minute

this is so sickening. you're just too invisible and i barely sees you at school. i don't like this kind of feeling. but then again you've stolen my heart and captured my sight whenever you walk pass me, boy.

one of a kind ;)

2009-08-07T02:36:00.000-07:00

I don't know
But I think I may be fallin' for you
Dropping so quickly
Maybe I should keep this to myself
Waiting 'til I know you better

i saw you today across the court, suddenly i don't know what's going on, i don't know what was my friend been talking about but for one thing i am positively sure is, my sight is glued. to you. this is ridiculous. i mean, i've seen you before, we're in the same school but how could i missed something like i saw during recess just now? you're not cute or anything, not even my type of guy, i told myself. but it feels different though this time around. totally different. i wanted to know more about you and luckily, my intuition is screaming that you're worth getting to know :)

hush hush

2009-08-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

nak boyfriend macam ni boleh tak? :)

Kim Hyun Jung alert (!)

2009-07-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

haha. can't believe i'm posting about Kim Hyun Jung. i kinda understand why Tiqa and Cipah really into this guy. dia agak cool lah. ehehe. tapi takboleh lawan Lee Min Ho lah kan. itu for sure :) see, i was strolling around youtube and tiba tiba tergerak hati nak cari video SS501. and agak tertarik lah nak buka video Ur Man. made the right choice, it was friggin awesome. ehehe. lagu best, dance move best and Kim Hyun Jung is the cherry on top of it :) for those yang suka dekat Hyun Jung, try to spot him in the actual MV. memang die hard fan kalau boleh jumpa dia at one shot. haha. here's the link :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7NxLI-B_Mg

the one below is the practice, lead by Hyun Jung :O got me hyperventilating. haha. enjoy the vid :D

bleach lah, suka tak? :)

2009-07-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce,
How do I say I'm sorry 'cause the word is just never gonna come out,
Now,
L-o-v-e's just another word I never learned to pronounce

i don't really know what to write.
maybe its the bleaching effect nan gave me yesterday.
it is always great to have the oppurtunity to talk to you nan.
you're just like a bleach.
whenever i have this misery feeling inside me,
you worked me out by just listening to what i have to say.
i'm sorry i can't compare you with anything that is cute or whatever,
but bleach is surely a memorable one, right? ha-ha.
so, itu jelah, i don't know what else to write.
except for, i love you, my very own bleach :)

Lee Dong Wook, saranghaeyo :)

2009-07-16T02:20:00.001-07:00

OMG

kenapalah kau ni cute sangat?
mine:)

you turn me into a faker

2009-07-16T01:07:00.000-07:00

The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don’t really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn’t finish what you started
Only darkness still remains

Lost sight
Couldn’t see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

Been black and blue before
There’s no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback’s such a waste
You’re invisible
Invisible to me
My wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face

One day
You will wake up
With nothing but “you’re sorrys”
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me

will you pretend that love is not there when it's right before you and is just not yours? tell me what will you do? i choose to lie to myself. i choose to fake a smile and put an act that everything is just fine. and this is when the ones who care will realize its just a paste smile. trust me, pretending is the only option if you were in my shoes. sometimes, when the need arises, i dont know about you, but i'll automatically carve a smile across my face. just to satisfy the others and to actually avoid the cliche 'jaz, are you okay?' question. its not that i don't appreciate the concern showed but sometimes people are just fulfilling the urge to ask and they don't really care about your answer whether its the real truth or not. ha-ha. i remembered those moments when this certain someone made me smile, as in really really smiling, i have thought that this someone is the one for me. not until he change his path and trying to catch her wave. i was astonished and amazed. how fast can actually a feeling change? in the blink of an eye? whoah, you really impressed me this time. i thought you were just the guy who doesn't really know about love and to break someone's heart. no, my thoughts are always accurate. its just that you're not that kind of guy anymore. ahh. at first i didn't really want to publish this entry and were just letting it remain as a draft. but until when can i keep this unsatisfying feeling by myself, right? thank Mighty God there are such thing like blog nowadays. which, in my opinion is a loyal listener. so instead of being jaded and contemplating about this useless guy, i better get back to my buku teks Sejarah Tingkatan 4 and study for the upcoming test. after all, studying is my favourite escape :)

live love and prosper people. ha-ha :D

its not that hard to move your lips into a smile

2009-06-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

"Oh dear, it’s been, 
Hardly three days, 
Yet I long, 
To feel your embrace. 
There are several days yet until, 
I can see your sweet face"

i don't know why, everything around me just seems wrong. everyone been busy with all their never ending problems. problem is a friend only if we seek it. sometimes i wonder, why don't we try, even just for a day to stop contemplating and fussing around and just let things happen. they don't quote 'sit back and relax' or 'wait and see' or maybe 'go with the flow' just for nothing, you know. can't we let destiny or fate do their job? is it just me or homo-sapiens like us really try so hard to change everything? for those who've been wearing frowns all this while, i reckon you to be an optimist and spread the smile all over your face :)

oh and Transformers is plain awesome. i love you Optimus Prime. haha.

you've poached my heart

2009-06-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

"You lift my feet off the ground you spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling
And I, I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier"

i know you're leaving. again. i've went through this before. it should be easier right? no its not. helplessly not. why am i always catching my breath whenever you're around? anyways, thanks for the ride. i knew it from the start, i'm glad i made it into your car:)

it didn't work. no matter how hard i try.

2009-06-19T04:53:00.000-07:00

"There's still a part of me in you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do"

it's nice to hear your voice. the one that i'm longing for. even just once. but yeah, you always find me, letting me into your world bit by bit when actually you're going away from me. it sucks you know, wherever we stand now. i know it might be nothing for you but hey, it surely left me tangling in your unanswered question. gahh. i want you. for such a long time but guess you never knew. i thought it was written all over my forehead, i thought it was that obvious. sheesh. never thought you could be so indifferent.

i can't take it that i'm already missing you even when you're not leaving yet.

"You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re on my heart just like a tattoo"

finally

2009-06-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

finally, i've bought Mortal Instrument City Of Ashes today. padahal City Of Bones pun belum habis baca lagi. haha. tinggal around 40 to 50 pages left je. really can't wait. that book excites me. hee. so, the exact plan today was to teman my little cousin to watch Hannah Montana. at first, i was like why me? why i'm the one that should teman her? but then again, i've made up my mind and just go along with her. went to klcc but the tickets semua dah sold out. unbelievable kan? i mean, it's just Hannah Montana. then, we went to Pavilion and finally got to watch it at 4.50 pm. for the second time. unbelievable, yes i know. haha.

then, i remembered Afifah's text suruh belikan City Of Glass if i see it anywhere by any chance. involuntarily, i went straight to Times but yeah, as expected, City Of Glass takde. sorry Fifah:( i was looking it for myself too tadi. tapi takde. hmm. this Afifah of mine semangat sangat pergi google some dirt about this saga and yes, there were some people have their interest set on turning this novel into a film. just like Twilight. i knoww. well, Afifah and me will be excited like HELL if the rumours were true. as surprisingly as it seems, people are actually talking about the most suitable actor to star as Jace Wayland, one of the lead character in the novel. since Jace is a gorgeous, golden-haired hunk, who will register first in your mind? just like Afifah said, of course lah Alex Pettyfer:) hehe. i CAN imagine him as Jace. i really do. haha. it'll be friggin cool if Alex Pettyfer do star as Jace. but somehow the cutie from Hannah Montana, Lucas Till can also play Jace's role. plainly because he's blond. haha. whoever get to be Jace in the future, i don't really care. but i really do wish for Alex Pettyfer. who doesn't?:D gahhh. i hate being addicted to anything in particular but this Mortal Instrument saga is worth to be addicted for:)

why must you come back?

2009-06-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

" thinking of you made my stomach knotted into something like Domino's Garlic Twisty Bread "

you made the ride worthwhile

2009-06-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

mama : rina, maybe kita tak jadi balik kampung kot.
me : eh? why?
mama : because we're off to Terengganu *winkwink*
me : EH? asal macam tiba tiba?

so yeah. i'm off to Terengganu this monday, which means esok lah kan? gahh-,- don't be sad people, it's only for three days. so until rabu je lah. HAHA. taktaulah apa yang ada dekat Terengganu tu. keropok lekor?:O

minggu ni macam macam jadi. last tuesday, Anis, Dee, Eli, Ain and me went volunteering at Zoo Negara. to be honest, we spent most of our time berehat rehat while singing along to my Jason Mraz's s songs. haha. maybe the zoo officer tu tak sampai hati nak bagi kita orang banyak banyak kerja. hehe. ohh and Oh Mighty God, there's this guy, this college guy to be exact lah kan, yang dah buat this volunteering job for the fifth time happened to be in our group. yup sama group dengan kitaorang semua yang, uhm. faham faham je lah. hah. dia takdelah buat apa pun dekat kitaorang. just taksuka dia since the 'no wonder' incident. well, the story went like this ;

guy : korang sekolah lagi ke?
me : uhh yeah. awak? [i wasn't sure lah nak guna you ke apa. better than 'uuu' kan Dee? HAHA]
guy : college. ni korang punya first time ke?
me : uhh yeah. [i look like a total loser kan? i knoww;(]
guy : no wonder[whispering to himself]

pfft. i was like :O hey Mister, your whisper is audible okay. oh wait. what if he intended to make the whispering clear? gahh. whatever. all in all, i don't really like cocky person. like you.

so wednesday pergi tuition macam biasa. well, not really mcm biasa. first, because i've waited for Fitri to pick me up and because i was late for like, thirty minutes. and the class duration is only an hour-__-" then, bila dah sampai, bagi Nan and Afifah those yellow roses:)

i went out with my Nan and Afifah to klcc. since i have to catch a bus to head to Lrt Wangsa Maju, i arrived a hell lot earlier than supposed to. that part is okay though. the best thing is, both of them arrived late than promised. i even counted how many trains passed me by while waiting for them. dumbdumb. 6 trains for Afifah and 10 for Nan. i'll never forget that Nan. haha. watched Hannah Montana. On 4th June. like craaaahzie right? first time tengok movie on the first day it premiers. best la jugak that movie. actually, Lucas Till made the movie much much more interesting. hehe:D bought Mortal Instrument at my favourite store, Kinokuniya. snap some photos and went back.

yesterday was Teach Syazana's wedding. went there with my mom, my dad and Aiman. go and sat with Syahira and Shahira. hah. makan makan then snap some photos with her and her husband. i was kinda disappointed though because mula mula ramai je semangat nak pergi Teach's wedding. last last, berapa kerat je lah yang datang. boleh kira dengan jari lagi. aihh. anyways, congrats Teacher. we love you:)

and as for today, i'll be submerging myself into piles of homework. well not really piles lah. sometimes exaggerating gives the impact. haha. gotta get my homeworks done or no Terengganu. as if i really wanted to go there. hah. till then readers:)

***for those peeps who have been waiting for my photos, i mean photos from my camera, i really hope you guys don't mind waiting. i wanted to upload it but there's something wrong with flickr. sorry.

find me on polyvore

2009-05-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

-"Polyvore is a free, easy-to-use web-based application for mixing and matching images from anywhere on the web. It is also a vibrant community of creative and stylish people."

i've created a polyvore account yesterday. when i first know about it when a friend of mine told me in late 2007, i wasn't drawn into the idea of collaging your choice of apparel from the original designer stores. ala, time tu baru form 2 lah. bodoh bodoh lagi. mana tau semua benda ni. but now, after experiencing it by myself, it was kinda fun though. pengalaman baru lah. you are welcomed to view my sets. but, let me tell you a thing, my creation is nothing to be compared with Cipah's, Dona's or Sarah's. haha. their's are brilliant:) so, i figured out how lame i am to be trying out this polyvore thingy while my friend, Kaitlynn has abandoned her polyvore since last year. ugh. what a last minute person. not last minute. last year person to be precise. Kaitlynn is already on her quest to find another social/virtual network tht she claimed should be more interesting than Polyvore, Twitter or Wordpress. ahh. ape apelah Kat. haha. eh, lupa pulak dia tak faham bahasa melayu. enough about polyvore already, i gotta go help my mum downstairs. she's been screaming my name since she just got back her voice. till then readers:)

definition of cute

2009-05-30T04:44:00.001-07:00

Kim Beom. stars as So Yi Jeung in BOF

Lee Min Ho. stars as Gu Jun Pyo in BOF. so mineeeee:)

now you tell me, how can you deny their transparent cuteness?
:)

official addiction

2009-05-30T03:42:00.000-07:00

its the korean series, Boys Over Flowers or BOF for short. it is actually the remake of Taiwan famous series, Meteor Garden and Japan's Hana Yori Dango. And i like korean F4 much better. haha. they're just unresistable. for those who haven't watch this series yet, you gotta have to. this story revolves around a commoner's life, Geum Jan Di (the lead actress) when she is accepted into Hangeul's most prestigious Shinhwa High. Jan Di doesn't really care of what people think of her because she knows, she won't fit in. not until she caught the F4 group leader attention, Gu Jun Pyo. who is also happen to be the son of the school owner. in the meantime, Jan Di develop her feelings for one of the F4, Yoo Ji Hoo. in Tiqa's defense, Ji Hoo looks kinda cute though in that picture. haha. this comedy-romance series will keep you laghing and crying at the same time too. aahh, never regretted that i've bought the whole season DVD;)

no pressure

2009-05-29T05:27:00.000-07:00

yeah. i'm back after abandoning my blog since, i lost track of time already. hee. today, again nothing special. typical day of jaz's life. ohh wait there are. today is the last day of the killing mid term exam. and i had my tasawwur test done too. then nan's mother who always crack the best joke about nan took us to titian, well dharbar mamak restaurant to be exact. thanks aunty, haha:) spent unaffordable time with nan. talk about manymanymany things tadi. which made part of my heart clear now:) its always a pleasure to talk to you. dah dah. bukan boleh puji lebih lebih. bangga pulak nanti. haha. everyone been talking about going to sort of places for this holidays. me? plans for this hols? nada. pity you jaz. cant wait for dearest Teacher Syazana's wedding on 5th. frankly speaking, i'm running out of words now. haha. till then, toodles:)

*****oh and pada awak yang terasa entry dkt bawah ni ditujukan pada awak, no pressure yeah. entry tu untuk orang lain la. tapi agak pelik kenapa awak terasa ye. it's not like you've done such things before until i have to write those stuff about you, right?:)

te amo Nan<3

just face it

2009-05-15T01:44:00.000-07:00

i thought i told you dear, karma never fails to haunt you.
and now that your life is ruined, i can't do anything better than laughing off.
yes, i'm out of sympathy.
and you already got what you deserved.
its not like what you think it is,
when girls keep turning you down.
its no coincidence, its your punishment.
and perhaps, you can add 'karma' to your life vocabulary:)

like i said before, what goes around comes all the way back around sayang.

fear, go away

2009-04-24T08:34:00.000-07:00

RANIDAPHOBIA

COULROPHOBIA

yes. you're unfortunate friend over here is actually having those phobias. wonder what they is? pergi wikipedia for more information. but hey, i don't suffer those phobias to the extended stage. and, i don't really enjoy receiving any sinister jokes or surprise regarding those two. seriously. i can give out an abnormally freaky reflex action.

i remembered once there's my neighbour who knew it by heart that i'm having a ghast fear of frogs(there i said it already) put one of that creature in my shoe and when i was about to wear it, it hopped out of my shoe and i was jumping away and screaming like i just saw an accident right in front of my eye(!) yes i did. and as a result, i didn't go out and play outside for two weeks. i just stayed inside my house and i also got really, i mean it, REALLY afraid to go to ANY playground. since that creature is as green as the grass. and thats also the reason why i don't wear sneakers that much NOW.

coulrophobic. i'm one of it. bother to know my most unforgettable experience i had, thus making me realized that i'm having this phobia? continue reading. chehh. haha. i went to my friend's birthday party and as you know, birthdays are synonym to clowns. there. right when i wanted to give the present i bought to ze birthday boy, i saw that person, in a terribly polka dotted overall. with smeared make up and, you know how exactly clown dressed right? i can't elaborate. though i know it was just a normal human being under that hideous apparel, i can't seem to think that way at that critical moment. so, being an 8 years old coulrophobic kiddo, i managed to run away from ze birthday party. here's the climax, afraid that the clown might chase after me, i stopped a car and asked for a ride home. from a stranger. yes. unbelievable. see, now you know how a phobic would act. thank god that aunty was kind enough and sent me home safe and sound. all i remember i just told the aunty that my house is at jalan H2 and why i wanted to go home. after that very terrifying incident, my mum's official favoured line is, 'don't talk to stranger'. haha.

that's all for now, from your freako mate:)

i just don't give a damn

2009-04-23T00:47:00.000-07:00

nothing special happened today. it's a usual, keep-on-repeating thursday. school is just the same. same faces, same routine, same tonnes of homework, same speeches and even same lame old jokes. today i'm a little bit pissed with this so called class clown. you think your jokes mean nothing to others, but hey i guess it's time for you to realize others feeling though. sometimes life are better off without your lousy, heart-hurting jokes.

enough about the cold joker. today, we were instructed to create a brochure about saving the water. that's the title i guess. haha. seperti biasa, liyy, shahira, tiqa and me team up and carry on with the brochure thing. it was fun. except for tiqa keep on joining whatever we says with lyrics from songs i haven't heard of. and not to forget, mubyn and the clan, or should i say arjun and the clan had their time singing to this unaudible song.

did i tell you that we're having our MID YEAR EXAM in like another two or more weeks?

oh god, help me prepare. it's not going to be easy this time around. it never been, i think?

thursday is the results day. i can't help myself looking at the clock every half an hour and wonder why time passes by so slowly. can't the clock needle just point to 6 o'clock so that i can tune in to 711 and get to know that my Matt is save? aihh. stilll about american idol, i realized in my class, i can only talk to aiman about american idol. how pathetic is that? aahh. this makes me miss 3S more:( i knew anis, adilah && ain watch american idol too. would be nice if i can chat about this with them.

still, tomorrow is just the same plain ol' thursday. and for the first time i really hope that i would never see your face again jester.

a video that will definitely help bring us back to the backstreet boys era:)

Backstreet Boys - Everybody (Backstreet's Back) (Official Music Video) - The best bloopers are here

time can't erase this feeling

2009-04-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

hari ni skip sekolah. hee. petang nanti nak pergi bookfair dgn tiqa and liyy. bila dah skip sekolah tak tau pulak apa nak buat. i think i'm going to watch fullhouse je. hehe. taktaulah apa nak tulis-_-' aha. let me tell you my results for march test. *which i suck. bigtime*

b melayu 74%
english 98%
mathematics 68%
agama 92%
sejarah 85%
biology 82%
physics 57%
chemistry 70%
addmath 50%
tasawwur 84%

hah. ni baru march test. mid term nanti tataulah apa jadi. aiyo. apa lagi nak blog eh? tade dah kot. hehe.

AI Updates
My boy was out! yeap. Matt Giraud was eliminated. aihh. ape ni american? do your work lah. vote for him. aduii. but thank god, he was saved by the power that the juries have. this prove that he do have the talent to stay. though what Simon said is true. (the fact that Matt doesn't stand a chance to win) still, there's gonna be two idols going home tomorrow. definitely, positively gonna be Anoop and Lil Rounds.
****ps/ tak suka Kara :b

title tade kena mengena. haha:DD

falling

2009-04-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I’ll never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Coz you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn’t know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, coz you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Coz I will never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And get myself together
Coz you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I’ll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Coz without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I’ve got, you’re all I want

And without you I don’t know what I’d do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

numb

2009-04-06T01:53:00.000-07:00

second chance is what i'm asking for.
this time around, i just don't care what others will say.
everything i tried after we're not together was just a failure.
it's me being dumb not seeing you is always there for me.
sometimes i wonder, will you take me back?
because i've let you down so many many times.
will you still have the same feeling for me,
as you did once ago?
from the day we set our own paths,
i've spent my time distracting myself from you,
trying hard to forget you,
believing that i am over you,
but the truth is, none of it worked.
so tell me, what the hell should i do now.
ignore this feelings?
i don't think that will work either.

what a day

2009-04-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

guess luck is not on our side. Pandu Puteri didn't manage to get any place in kawad kaki daerah. why? because we're from Melawati. when it's melawati, it's like merely possible to win anything. the judges don't even bother to invite us for the ketua platun and urusetia meeting. at the end of the day, they gave us penalty for 'doesn't make sense' reason. and, we lose. that's what they want anyway. they know it by heart that Melawati's kawad team is strong enough to beat the others. and they prefer winning it the dirty way.

AI updates ;
this week's favourite idol is of course, Kris Allen. Matt dissapoint me. so does Alisson. Adam Lambert's screaming is getting on my nerve. over sgt kadang kadang.haha. Lil Rounds makin lama makin tak best. wonder who's going home this week.

anyways, do visit my photostream at flickr ;

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jazrinapunyaphotos/

but still under consruction lagi lah yee. to cousin cousin sekalian, there's a lot of your photos there. grablah kalau nak:)

walk me along the memory lane

2009-03-20T19:20:00.000-07:00

i can't lie. i'm gonna miss you. both of you. especially you classmate. lepas ni siapa nak curi keychain jaz lagi? ohh wait. you don't have to. dah dapat dah pun keychain tu kann:) although thing with us didn't work out well, you turned out to be a veryvery good friend indeed. hee. somehow i think you guys are cruel oh. Rahman was right. if you left, siapa lagi yang kitaorang ada? gediklah. nak pergi jugak mckk tuu. and you pelat, lepas ni siapa nak teman jaz lepak dkt balcony after rehat? haa? siapa nak tolong jaz ambil kan awan awan tu? all this while, always ada tiga orang lalu depan rumah jaz pergi main bola. guess after this you'll be walking alone winnie. kalau you guys balik, beritahulah. boleh lepak. or tangkap gambar with your imaginary three-lense-slr kan nadzmi?*winkwink* haha. although baru je kenal korang, still, you guys are born with talent to make people laugh:) ohh. baru teringat the 20 sen history. haha. see, my memory is getting better lah. hee. kalaulah mamak roti tu tak lalu haritu, dah takdapat kenal korang. kan? thanks mamak roti:) hahaha. take care tau. lepas ni nadzmi dah takboleh pinjam jaz punya homework lagi dah. haha. anyways, wishing you guys all the best. jangan lupa kawan kawan di sini:)

p/s nadzmi perasan tak ada banyak rugbyhead smiley? saje je buat banyak banyak. it annoys you kan? haha.

one hour means more

2009-03-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

guess everyone are well aware of the earth hour which will take place on march 28th 8.30 pm. so basically on this specific day, we are asked to switch off all the lights for one hour. its just an hour, i cant understand why certain people out there are whining about switching off their lights. haven't they sit back and think, earth never ask anything from us. but, we're ruining earth off-limit. so the question here is, is one hour so hard to do? hope malaysians will realise this. here is an interesting video with interesting-er message beyond it. enjoy:)

AI Updates ;
its a country week. somehow i personally think the theme is not very rational. not every singer can sing country songs(credits for carrie underwood) but that doesn't mean the singer is not versatile enough. so the results, tonight concert was a let-down. its not surprising though. adam lambert was rather dissapointing too.

this week favourite ; Matt Giraud

you're such a P.Y.T

2009-03-12T00:38:00.000-07:00

Friendship Compatibility of Libra with Libra

Everything's always so easy and familiar with your Libran chum...why can't all of your friendships be this way? It's probably because you won't find anyone as charming, witty and intelligent as a fellow Libran. The two of you share a love of grace and beauty and can spend hours just admiring the architecture of historic places *wtf?*. You're also both practiced at the art of debate and enjoy discussing current events with each other, knowing the conversation will never get heated or emotional. The one drawback to this friendship is that you're both more prone to talk about things than actually doing them. Neither one of you likes to take decisive action ... it's much more fun discussing the matter from every conceivable angle. Naturally, you have tons of interests in common and may enjoy graceful sports like gymnastics and ice skating. Playing music can be another source of pleasure for you both.

hope nan and afifah will read this entry:)

*source ; myspace horoscopes compatibility meter

it's payback time

2009-03-11T02:38:00.000-07:00

i knoww. it's the second entry for the day. haha. dah lama tak blog. so i decided to post more than one entry today. hee:)

since dah taktau nak blog pasal apa, i've made up my mind that i would write about this particular current favourite song. hah. amik kauu. haha. and, make way for Dan Sebenarnya by Yuna ;

oh bulan
enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila,
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku
pabila,
kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah,
jatuh ke bumi
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku.

best kan? i know. haha. tiada any specific reason why i love this song yeah. put that in mind** hee. and bawah ni is the video of her performing at Malaya Park. loving the voice:) if video tu buffered, don't blame the vid. it's your connection lah yang lembab. haa:D

Yuna-Dan Sebenarnya

*support local scene. dieorang tadelah sucks sangat:)

ohh l-o-v-e

2009-03-11T02:34:00.000-07:00

why must it be sooo hard?

Your interest in starting a romance is changing today. You're less concerned with flirting up a storm, and more concerned with finding someone you can have long and deep conversations with. This change means that you are focusing more on what you need for true happiness, and not so much on what you think you need for the time being. Listen to yourself and give yourself the time you need to figure this stuff out. It might be a good idea to take a break from dating until you're sure.

*source ; yahoo shine daily horoscope.

**parts of it are true though.

dissapear, please.

2009-03-10T23:38:00.000-07:00

right at the moment i know you have your heart on someone else, i don't know why i'm having this kind of feeling.

you're not invinsible in case you don't realize

2009-02-22T02:19:00.000-08:00

"the more i try to erase you, the harder it gets.
the more i want to forget you, the closer the moments we've shared come approaching me.
when i intend to vanish you, the warmth of your smile blindfolded my heart.
when i am determined to ignore you, your promises playback in my mind.

when i wish you were here, you weren't.
so tell me, what exactly is i'm feeling?
what exactly is our fate if you and me are not meant to be together?
if loving you is something wrong, then my heart will never be right."

picturing

2009-02-20T00:14:00.000-08:00

and there she stand,
pretending that nothing has ever went wrong,
with his promises, today, she survive.

though dealing with the fact that he's out there,
living his life happily with someone else doesnt really please her, still,
her feelings for him never fall, never fade.

and, for one beautiful sunny day,
they're fated to meet,
she can never let go the smile off her face.

though she know this by heart,
that she and him will never be together, still,
deep inside, there's a strength that wanted her to wait even if it takes forever.

nuevo companero ; alegre momento

2009-02-15T20:18:00.000-08:00

last saturday, i went to SMK Seksyen 5 carnival. which also means i cut school that day. haha. i went there with nan around 9+ am. we did not went directly to her school. hee. instead we went to nz to fill our grumbling stomach. there, we talked about all of the things we missed since this year, we dont quite spent quality times together. after calling a few of people, nan said dah boleh masuk sekolah dah. so we walked. just as i arrived at her school, i noticed, one thing for sure, i am very proud of the students. why? all of them are wearing uniform/baju sukan. all of them. man, you cant see this kind of atmosphere in melawati. haha. jangan harap we all come to the carnival wearing baju sekolah. so we approached nan's clique which consist of jep, fee, meth, marissa, farah, izzat, nana and azza. and yasmin and faiz too. and ada lah lagi. ramai sangatlah. i cant recall all the names. haha. they were playing card at the dewan besides eating and lepak-ing. then nan pulled out my slr and she's starting to buat harta with it. haha. i dont mind though:) we snapped a lot of pictures since svian are very camera friendly. hee. they are not just camera friendly but they are friendly friendly too. get what i mean?:) eventhough they dont really know me but they treated me well. impressed me on the friendly rating meter. then we went to see izzat's brother with all his artworks. i cant lie, they were beautiful. so basically, i enjoyed my 3++ hours visit there. hope to see you guys again in the future:)

Opera Mini

2009-01-25T18:21:00.000-08:00

Most of you might be wondering, why opera mini? Kan? Haha. That is because i am writing this entry using opera mini through my mobile phone. Maybe its not so cool for some of you but its a totally new thing for me:) now i have more reason not to walk to the pc to online. Since i got opera mini within my reach kan. Hee. Anyways, entry ni dah nampak macam commercial for opera mini pula. Haha. Nak explore lagi lah. Toodles;)

***current addiction

2009-01-21T05:29:00.000-08:00

haha. okay. referring to the topic, well, my new, current addiction is faizal tahir. padahal takdelah baru sangat. dah lama lah juga. haha. yes. that FAIZAL TAHIR. obviously this is not because of that juara lagu that just took event on Jan 20th. i've been a huge fan of his since he's in that reality show, which i forgot the title. -__-" ahah. some people might be questioning why Faizal Tahir or why malaysian artiste? right? simply because his voice and his masterpiece is different from the others. he's just too professional. im not a person that always goes for malaysian artiste. not to be harsh, but my priority have always been western artiste. their song and their singing just perfectly matched. same goes with Faizal Tahir. i adores all of his song. i do. and im not ashamed to admit it:) and, talking about the Juara Lagu happened on last Sunday, he managed to present both 'Coba' and 'Sampai Syurga' perfectly well.Coba was okay for me. but Sampai Syurga was extraordinaire. his singing, his idea to deliver the message of the song, and his image*woohoo;)* made just a perfect match. im not exagerrating or anything, but hey, i did got goosebumps when he hit the chorus. i did. i never ever in my whole life get a goosebump just by listening to others singing. well, i think i better stop here or else other readers might be vomitting if i ever write a word about Faizal Tahir again. haha. till then, Faizal Tahir is really my idol:)

changing lane

2009-01-10T09:08:00.000-08:00

everyday, we face different conflicts, we experience new things. and as for me, 2009 is a year of changes. i've faced a lot of changes and undergoing through certain changes. it's already time to face the fact that things doesn't remain as it is for now. preparing yourself for any absolute changes ahead aint easy at all. but, for now, being optimistic matters. so, i guess, it's what im going to be:)

*from now onwards, i've decided to quote a line at the end of my every blogs. its just a random, transparent feeling of mine*

oh btw,

happy one month anniversary sayang:)

'forgetting things is not as easy as you think it is'

hollow

2009-01-07T05:12:00.000-08:00

confused. empty. numb. missing. longing. juggling. balancing. struggling.

mind me. im so not in the mood to open up what im feeling inside.

so long goodbye

2008-12-30T00:23:00.000-08:00

as 2008 reaching its tail end, i am grateful that throughout this year everything went out pretty well. Eventhough there were certain things that i can labeled as black memories, but who even care to remember those stupid past. Besides, most of it came from our own mistakes too. Well, lets start from the beginning, first of all, i am grateful that i entered the most perfect class ever. I know some of the people out there might label us as the geek class, but who cares? they dont even know how happening our class can be. And the humans, yes, they are more than perfect. they are veryvery open minded and they do jokes their own way. haha. and, i remembered when i called you guys the geeks, nerds and all, man i take it all back. as 2oo8 crawls into mid-year, i was blissfully happy*at that time* because i think i've met the most perfect person i ever knew. but for now, i never wished that i knew him. knowing him was my biggest regret. but as they say, past are past. besides, i am now trying to be optimistic with the given situation. and it brought me to the near-end of 2008, i've done my PMR and im glad the studying is over. or at least for the year. but i was wrong then, i realised just how much i miss my friends, my class, my books and stuff. without studying, my day is like 60% empty. and it sucks. haha. and then this guy just appear out of nowhere. he blew my feet *and my mind too* off. haha. he made me realized that not all guys are the same. im glad we went out together that day izzat:) and as for today, my results are the cherry on top of everything. all the hardwork *and play* for three years have been paid off. its nice to see all the smiles on my friends' faces as they get their result. and, the unforgettable one, of course, nan sofiah. i've ran out of words when it comes to you. haha. lets just put it this way, i cant even imagine my day not knowing you. so, goodbye 2008, the year of happiness. may next year get even better:)

Je t'aime

2008-12-14T04:01:00.000-08:00

Ana behibak

Wo ie ni

Miluji te

Ik hou van jou

Mi amas vin

Je t'aime

Ich liebe dich

Mein tumse pyar karte hoo

Wa ai lu

Ti amo

Ai shiteru

Saranghae

Vos amo

Iniibig kita

Eu te amo

Te amo

Mahal kita

Phom rak khun

Gwa ai lee

Toi yeu em

I love you:)

do you fit in?

2008-12-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

someone talkative
someone who knows what he's talking about
someone funny
someone who can keep up with my slowness in picking up things
someone who can remind me because im veryvery forgetful
someone who never give up explaining to me what's happening
someone who is there to listen
someone who is willing to lend a shoulder to cry on
someone who accept me as who i am

until now, i've waited for this certain someone to come along and when you come, im positive that you're made for me:)

the happenings

2008-12-07T08:12:00.000-08:00

okay. my blog has been abandoned for like two weeks, that is because i went to my kampung to look after my grandpa. yes, to make it better, i haven;t watch my current obsession, twilight. ps/ i might be watching twilight this thursday. hee. i arrived at my house on friday night. on the next day, i have to attend my cousin's wedding in selayang. on sunday while i was sleeping, i received a text message from my soulmate, nan sofiah telling me that she's stuck because there's a major landslide took place in Bukit Antarabangsa. and she asked me to watch news for further info. i was so shocked and only god knows how worried i am. besides nan, i have other friends staying there. i wondered how were they doing. i hope everything will be fine. i really am sorry for those who had lost their loved ones, their house and other valuables. and now, updates on the landslide can be seen everywhere. and, i guess the landslide is the current happening for now. until then, later readers:)

this is it?

2008-11-20T18:55:00.000-08:00

when i was eating my pizza, i decided to look through the pictures in my camera. right when i pressed the 'view' button, the pictures of me and my classmates at our class party appeared. i look back at all the photos. there's a photo of me and a few of us with teacher siti noor. there's also a photo of you guys dancing to the 'ayer' song. i laughed at myself while browsing through the photos. suddenly it comes to me, is this the ending? this is it? then i realized, this is our last meeting, our last gathering. there will be no more 3 Sejahtera after this.

i cant imagine how bad im going to miss you guys. i miss being the second girl that come to school early *because the first one have always been adilah. haha* i miss the two girls that have been accompanying me throughout the year. i miss syahidah with her common 'job' blabbing out the juiciest gossip ever. i miss ariffah bringing her bekal to school and say to me, 'ambik lah'. i miss the girls around me. i miss anis. i miss doodling with her where im the one who bring the crayons and she's the one who borrows it. always:) i miss dine who always laugh overly over small matter. i miss tina with her daily routine 'cerita-ing' to me about her starling. i miss meera who cant get over with ayam. i miss ain and dee. they're the sunshine of the class. hearing dee's super loud sneeze had become something common to us. i cant believe im not going to hear that any longer.

i miss the guys too. i miss dakshan who always find an opportunity to talk to amal(; i miss kaif and jerrick, the mentor and the protege. haha. i miss fahim and his clan cracking out the stupidest jokes i've ever heard. i miss syazwan, the kepeng one. haha. i miss aizuddin's gang too. not to forget. i miss those chinese guys. i miss hearing their laugh and shout when they play poker together. i miss aiman who seems to talk non-stoply. i miss ghavi going around the girls' table and keluarkan all of the stuff in my pencil case and atur them on my table. i wonder why he do that for? haha.

i miss sitting on the stage, i miss standing and staring people at the balcony. i miss 3 Sejahtera. although next year some of us will stay in the same class, but it wont be the same 3 Sejahtera anymore. sometimes i wish this year will never end:)

day out and missingness

2008-11-19T03:05:00.000-08:00

today is so tiring. i went to midvalley megamall today with my cousin. since we're a bit different from the rest, we also shop for different kind of things. and, can you imagine, both of us sanggup ke midvalley megamall just to find a phone strap? haha. i know i know. we went to mph to satisfy our craving for boooks. and, i was so stunned when i went into teen fiction part. theres a lot *capital A L O T* of books that is totally my kind of books. i was picking that one and this one. but then, i have to put the books back to its original place as the money in my wallet tak mengizinkan. then, i thought maybe i could just aim the books that i wanted then drag my mum and dad to mph to buy it for me. haha:DD the gift, haters, crazy in love and angus, thongs and perfect snogging are on top of the list baby. hee. i dont care if my mum will hate me for a week as long as i get those books. at least theres something else i can do besides eating:) and, i totally felt her absence today. i reallyreallyreally miss her. ugh. thoughts of we both talking and laughing our heads off are playing on the back off my mind. only now i realized that we've been spending too much time apart. i thought it wasn't even possible. with me going back to kampung this friday, i dont know when i'll be seeing you. i want you to know nan, i really do miss you:(

*oh and, i love you nan:D haha.

school holidays = ultimate boredom

2008-11-17T20:18:00.000-08:00

i bet almost everyone agreed with the title right? i realized, during this school holiday, i only do three major things everyday which is eat, sleep and watching korean soap operas. so, i've decided to create an account here. just to let everyone know what im doing everyday. oh, not to mention all of my melancong plans been cancelled and i have to balik kampung to take care of my grandpa. the balik kampung thingy is okay, its just the matter of timing. some of my aunty forced me to go there fast. and, it'll ganggu my outing schedule. susah betul nak puaskan hati ramai orang kan? haish. so basically, i dont know really when i'll balik kampung. and, i've been missing my life partner so much. damn. without her, semua benda macam tak complete oh. i wish we could spend some time together. there's a lot to tell.

*nan sofiah, i miss you:(