hello loner boy :)

you stole my gaze right away,

you're something i would call attraction at the first sight. i cant stop myself from looking at you. i know it from the first place, you have that something so interesting in you. or else, my gaze wont be locked on you that whole evening :)

my heart is filled with you

omona,

okay, this is insane. i dont know why i'm super excited everytime i talk about you. i admit most of the times girls expect the first move from guys. but with you, i figured that i should start things first. it's cool with me, i mean, it's not wrong for girls to start a conversation right? but when you responded, it turns my world upside down. in a good way, of course. it's just a simple 'hye' yet, the impact are sooooo huge. i bet you must have heard me screaming just now. ask my friends, yes, i giggled, jumped until my cheeks turned red. the question now is, how am i gonna face you soon? this is so embarassing. but somehow, i kinda wait to bump on you at school. i am fully aware that you have tonnes of admirers and from what i see and what i heard, you never seem to care about your fangirls. i dont know if it's a good sign or not. i am also sure that all of my friends are now tired of hearing stories about you and truth is, i cant stop talking about you because i just cant stop thinking about you :)

*just in case you're wondering, 'omona' is 'oh my god' in korean :D

ajikto norul wonhae :D

i want you now. the title, i mean.

oh hello, twenty-ten!

is it too late? i dont think so. unbelievably, this is my first post for 2010. and it's already February! how fast time flies. and during one month and 11 days period of time, too much things been happening in my world.

first,
i miss NAN SOFIAH. she wont read this anyway. but still, i miss her. sampai dah taktahu nak describe banyak mana. yeah memang lah ada kawan sekolah semua, but it's not the same. not at all. i wish i can fix this but i never come up with any solution. how i hate being in this situation :'(

second,
my love life sucks. it got me to a point where i dont wanna care about it anymore. the recent guy i spent time with was just foolishly immature, so yeah thanks to him, i dont even have the interest to be in love again. but it's okay. karma wont let him go anyway. sorry lah, but kalau still tak sedar lagi, that why you still dont have a girlf until now. it's not me, it's you. no offense.

third,
i cant believe im saying this, but the fact is, day by day, i AM becoming a loner. yeah i dont need you to tell me how pathetic it is. i knew it already. seriously, sometimes it's fun to be a loner. far from all the people with extremely loud hysterical laugh -which at times tak sedar betapa disturbing nya their laugh are-, far from all the people that care about their appearence. i mean come on, it's just a freakin school. melawati pulak tu. kalau sekolah McKinley High macam dalam Glee tu takpe lah jugak. capital P-F-F-T.

fourth,
i noticed, besides Shey, Tiqi, and Liyy, lately i've been spending a lot, i repeat, A LOT of my insufficient time with Rahman Jamal. yeah, yang budak choir tu lahh. haha. he's cool. okay tak nak puji lebih lebih. but hey at least he listen to all of my problems. though sometimes he doesnt offer a good solution, but thats not what i asked for. being a loyal listener is good enough, Man. and thats what you're doing now. thanks yeah. cant imagine going through a hectic melawati life without you best friend. lima minit pun tak boleh. tak payah bet bet, okay? haha :D

fifth,
okay let's talk about the title of this post now. hehe. i found myself a guy to shout, jump and giggle over whenever he pass by me. i remembered when i used to complain to Rahman and Fitri that there is no new guy to 'usha' anymore. but now dah jumpa. and he's kinda new to melawati what. hee :DD and to top things off, we have that common interest. i never thought that i could find a guy that can talk to me about the same thing we both go crazy for. except Rahman and Mubyn, of course. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Opparul saranghae. hehehe. takpasal je. okay Jaz, cut the crap. yeah, i know that i said before that i am not interested to be in love. memang takde chance pun dengan this guy anyway. so yeah, why bother? :l

sixth,
being a form five = endless homeworks, exams, tuition classes, extra classes and seminars and the most beloved SPM. for the love of Big Bang and G Dragon, homework sumpah banyak gila. and i AM NOT EXAGGERATING. can you believe that? like hello teachers, we're juggling 10 subjects here. t-e-n okay. gahh. tak kesah lah nak bagi homework, tapi jangan lah banyak sangat. aigoo. i am not complaining. just want to have a short, short, short break from all school-related things. really looking forward for the upcoming holiday. bila fikir balik, 24 hours does sounds a lot. tapi TAK CUKUP LAH :O i think i'm doing my homework even in my sleep. haha. okay itu tak lah. tipu je. hee.

seventh,
i dont think i'll be updating my blog in this short period of time. though i really wanted to. same goes with my facebook. online pun dah jarang, update lagi lah. heh. and youtube. oh youtube, i am trying my level best no to visit you frequently. so addictive lah. aigoo. especially bila the search column is filled with letters B-i-g-B-a-n-g. haha. memang dah tak boleh lepaskan mouse dah. yeah i know, dah critical dah addiction ni. so, to those yang rajin membaca post ni, take care yeah. this is what happens to me when i'm out of words. live a blessed life people :D

irony

i dont know why but suddenly i'm in the mood to write plus it's been a long time since i post anything serious here so it's gonna be a post straight from the heart. dont bother to read it if you're not interested with what happenned with me and my life.

love love love. once i gave up searching for the God knows who. i simply live by "he's out there, just being with the wrong girls". to me life is absolutely fine without a guy declaring himself as my boyfriend. sometimes i love being single because the idea of borderless flirting excites me.

but hey, when you're all by yourself sometimes you'll feel the hollow spaces between you. you'll feel the urge to find someone to fill those spaces. and i think i've met mine. he's all fine, my type of guy. but realities are not all 'happily ever after' so yeah i guess i just have to deal with the fact that his affection is not only for me.

in fact if you want to be specific, i'm the one who is the meddler. it's everything but easy being the middle one. the one who can only see things but can't touch it. the one who is being neglected along the way. the one that always have to hide behind lies and pretention. yeah i might not know you long enough but i know the feeling we have for each other is mutual. and Heaven knows i don't want this to end but i cant afford the price of pretending anymore.

its irony how when you think you've met your match, the one you've been waiting for and he turns out to be someone else's boyfriend.

again, just sayin' :)